Dear Customer,

Dear Customer,

I apologize, (not because I’m actually sorry, but because I have to) for asking to see your ID when you were purchasing over 50$ worth of clothing while in my store.  I realize you were in a hurry and that I inconvenienced you but I was just doing my job.  When I stated that I myself was not the one who made up the rules but just the poor sucker who had to enforce them, you seemed to be slightly placated.  That was until I tried to go on. I was going to say I would run it this once without an ID but in the future while shopping at this establishment you would need it, you didn’t give me that chance.  You yelled at me.  You took out your stress on me, you made me feel stupid and ashamed to do my simple job, because it was inconvenient for you.  I’m sorry for doing the job I was hired and paid to do. 

What I am really writing to apologize for is the way our interaction ended.  The panic attack I had after swiping your card was unprofessional and out of character for me.  I don’t usually have a melt down when someone is mad about something that is out of my control.  But you see, this day was stacked against me, for reasons I do not have to explain to you and wont.  Your screams tossed me over the edge and my breath wouldn’t come fast enough… then my breath wouldn’t stay with me… and it also wouldn’t leave my lungs.  I apologize for handing you to my assistant as I ran into the back room to cry on the floor, forcing my breath in and out of my lungs when it seemed impossible.

I was truly ashamed I had lost control of myself, that I could not hold myself together while you let out your frustrations on me. 

Embarrassed is the word that comes to mind when I think of that day.

BUT after today I wont be thinking of that day the same way. 

You came back into the store and asked that same associate if I was there, not to check on me, not to show empathy but because you wanted to see if you could get me to cry again.  Did you enjoy the rush you got from being a bully?  Did it make you feel better about your life, your situation, your self-worth? 

I am not your punching bag.

FUCK OFF!

I am not your right to a good time, I am a human being! I am worth more than this! I am not going to be objectified to this inhumane act of hostility from anyone, let alone a woman who will never have the empathy to see past her own shoes.

I hope your life is full, full of moments that give you the chance to change.  To choose to be a better person in that moment, better than you were to me. 

I hope someday you find that part of the human experience that urges you to better yourself by helping someone instead of persecuting the weak for your own enjoyment. 

I hope for your future.

-The girl who cried