From the moment I was told of this meeting I have been thinking of little else. It's driven me to work crazy hours, complete every task put In front of me and made me want nothing more then the weekend to be here. But now that it's two days away I'm not as excited...
I'm actually scared
Scared that I will realize how much I miss it. (But I actually already know how much)
Scared that I won't want to leave my nephew ever again. (This is extreamly realistic)
Scared that my small life here will feel silly and I won't want to come back.
My heart aches for my family and friends. For the experiences and memories I'm missing out on. I know I'm takin a chance and trying to build a new life here but honestly that life has yet to reach past work. I have surrounded myself with amazing people who are striving toward the same goal and who are as sarcastically witty as I am!
But I am their boss which prevents me from becoming friends with them. It's morally wrong and a line I will not cross.
But church isn't steller I haven't made any real friends and I hate going. I literally have to bribe myself to go and even then...sometimes that doesn't even work...
Going home for a few days sounds like heaven... But it's also Hell because I have to leave all over again.
I want tomorrow to be over and to never start all at the same time...
-M
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